walk with me in dreams

I dreamed of Qing last night. I haven't dreamed of her for a long time. I guess it was because a friend of mine mentioned her name to me yesterday. She said:" Have you heard of Qing?" I said, " no'. I didn't understand why after so many years, she still asked me about her everytime I told her something of other members of the band. I always felt a little sad after I said :"no" to a question like hers. I myself already stopped asking this kind of question to my other friends. Her name already became a common taboo of our scarce correspondence.

She is always splendidly beautiful in my dreams. Again, it was a music gathering. They were playing music in a big room without me. How jealous I was! Playing music without me was unacceptable! Qing was playing a tiny little digital piano instead of her usual violin. Dan was playing the violin and Ni was playing her cello. A dramtic movement from Beethoevan. So they got me replaced! I was about to loose my temper! But Qing standed up and looked at me with her usual calm and tenderful smile and she said:" Little girl, you were always late. Your piano was waiting for you." Her hair was cut short( she always wear her hair long in reality) and she was wearing a black blouse. She looked like dressed up for a performance. When I was approaching the piano, it became tiner and tiner and then it disappeaered. I wasn't even be able to touch a key. Then I saw some cynical smiles or looks from Dan( hope she wont' read this). Then i couldn't find Qing anymore. It was a piano trio and we had enough people. But there was no piano and no Qing.

I woke up realizing I was choking with tears. I started to recollect my meomories not of her but of my other dreams about her. I barely remembered how she looks now. And I thought maybe I should write to Dan and instantly felt how stupid she would think about my dreams. I once wrote her about my dreams of Qing. Dan replied, "She wont' think about music anyway," i can image her saying these, " there are things more important for her right now".

I m thinking about writing a fiction about all her and all these. It will not be a fiction. But it was the fiction-like reality.